We are celebrating 25 years of marriage this week!
I’m not surprised we’ve reached this milestone, but I am surprised it happened so fast.
Didn’t we just get married yesterday? Where did those grey hairs come from? Time flies when you’re pretending it doesn’t.
I remember right before my dad walked me down the aisle he asked me if I was sure I wanted to get married. I do mean RIGHT before. The organ was playing. The guests were seated. The pastor and my soon-to-be husband were standing on the stage. The implication was that my dad would get me out of there if I asked him to do so because it wasn’t too late to change my mind.
It was sweet and profound and everything you want a dad to be all wrapped up in one moment.
So the other night, I was quite delighted to call my dad and tell him about our upcoming anniversary. He said, “You might make it to 50 years.” I replied, “That’s the goal.”
But truthfully, that wouldn’t be enough.
No, it definitely wouldn’t be enough.
(I just had to pause and dab my leaky eyes.)
I do think we, as a society, get caught up in the number of years a relationship lasts. There’s an assumption that if a relationship lasts a long time it’s a “success.”
To me, success would mean it’s a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. We all hope that’s the case but it is not necessarily true. Or it could have been true for part of the time. It’s complicated!
I tend to think of relationships like books. The plot could contain tragedy, comedy, drama, dysfunction, adventure, a love story, etc. There could be an evil villain. There could be insurmountable odds. There could be any number of twists and turns. There could be a happy ending.
Some books are shorter than others. It doesn’t necessarily mean it was a bad book. Some books are so good you never want them to end. Some books are too drawn out and would have been more enjoyable for everyone if they had ended far sooner. Some books you flat out do not understand. Some books start great but the ending leaves a bad taste in your mouth. In some books, you know exactly what will happen from the first page and you find yourself yelling at the main character to “not do it.” They do it anyway.
I don’t know how long our particular book will be, but so far it has been about two imperfect people who have said yes to many adventures in life, who have grown together and not apart, and who wake up each day choosing each other even when it’s hard, especially when it’s hard.
It might sound boring but it has not been. Our relationship has been the best, the hardest, the most worthwhile thing we’ve done in our lives. And I’m excited to keep doing it.
It seems fitting that I think Dr. Seuss, the author of so many books, said it best when it comes to relationships. “We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”
Indeed.
Happy anniversary, Handy Husband. I’ll be weird with you forever.
Do you have any marriage advice for us? I’d love to know. You can always comment on this blog post, email me here, or reach out via Instagram or Facebook.
I am so grateful you chose to spend part of your day here. Thank you! If you’re not quite ready to go, here’s another blog post or three to read.
What We’ve Learned About Our Marriage While Quarantined
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